Out of the Debauched Sloth

Chaz Brenchley's Fortnightly Newsletter

“Bad news isn’t wine. It doesn’t improve with age.” - Colin Powell

Cancer surgery. Under-the-weather cat. Earthquake.

That about sums up the news this last fortnight. Here, have a recipe instead.

MRS BAILEY’S CHILLI PICKLE

Mrs Bailey may seem at first sight to be a school cook of the most traditional sort, but any such view—should anyone dare to hold it—would be devastatingly wide of the mark. Her curiosity is boundless, her palate as adventurous as her experience is broad.

Among other surprises in store for the ill-informed is the fact that she adores hot food, and the spicier the better. Hence this pickle, which she likes to make with Thai bird’s-eye chillies (though she does make a somewhat milder version with Indian finger chillies, for curry days at the school).

50g yellow mustard seeds, lightly crushed in a mortar

50g ground cumin

25g ground turmeric

50g garlic, crushed

150g cider vinegar

75g sugar

10g salt

150g mustard oil, plus more as needed

two dozen garlic cloves, peeled

500g fresh chillies, stemmed and washed

Mix everything listed from the mustard seeds to the salt in a medium bowl, cover and allow to sit for twenty-four to forty-eight hours, mulling quietly to itself.

Heat the mustard oil in a pan big enough for everything, and fry the spice mixture for a few minutes (fan on if you have one, and windows open—this stuff can be pokey). Add the garlic cloves and sizzle for a few minutes longer.

Add the chillies and cook gently over a low heat for half an hour or so, stirring often.

Distribute between prewarmed jars, topping up with extra mustard oil as needed, and seal according to the customs of your country.

That’s all for this fortnight. Hoping for some real writerly news next time.

- Chaz